April 5, 2019

Today I woke up with a heavy heart,literally and physically. Ever since I left Philly, I have been struggling with chest pains. My body must harp really been warning me or perhaps preparing me for some difficult news. There’s never a good time to be anything but happy. After a much needed, well rested week, I return to shocking family news. I was concerned about myself immediately because initially travesty doesn’t always hurt me but shortly after I feel and I feel it all. Once this happens, it is extremely hard for me to think rationally, clearly, and especially difficult for me to get out of how I feel. Today I took a me day, it worked out perfectly to where I didn’t have to call off due to my students poor behavior actually. I felt bad initially for not studying while I relaxed but that’s when I realized that I am processing and grieving and feeling and growing all at once. Sometimes this takes time, time that I’m going to have to give to myself. Thank you Lord for much needed rest. Tomorrow I win, whether I have to force myself or not. I’ll be forever grateful to learn more about myself daily. God please restore my time. This weekend is the test🙃 Oh and I believe in joy coming in the morning so stay very tuned.

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